In Eight Steps to Happiness Geshe-la says "'Self' and 'other' are relative terms, rather like 'this mountain' and 'that mountain ... 'This' and 'that' therefore depend upon our point of reference. This is also true of self and other. By climbing down the mountain of self, it is possible to ascend the mountain of other, and thereby cherish others as much as we presently cherish ourself."

Friday, January 14, 2011

Report from Whole-Brain Radiation

Yesterday I had my first of 20 whole-brain radiation treatments. In short, it went well - and fast, even though the first session was the longest, because there was a bit of setup.
We spent a few minutes in the "gowned waiting room," - they let Richard and me in, even though we remained in street clothes. So many of these offices have Internet connections now, which is really nice for us, because Richard can do his online thing while I do my thing.

I wouldn't call the room a spa, like my last targeted brain radiation - the plain setting would be familiar if you've ever had a CT, PET or MRI scan: A big whitish room, with a table in the middle and a grayish machine nearby. I'm not complaining - I'm just saying I didn't see anything in the way of Oriental design touches : )
The techs were friendly and competent.
When you go to lie down, you put your head on a small plastic riser - it's like the squarish packing from an electronic device you buy - that is, nothing fancy. If you saw it on the floor, you'd recycle it. No cushioning, not that it was uncomfortable.
The bed is pretty narrow - I mentioned my arms had a tendency to slide off the sides - and I didn't want any body movement during the radiation. They gave me a circle of plastic to hold with my hands on my chest. It reminded me of a dog toy! Brea, the tech, said their previous device was a pillow cushion with the ends knotted, which is another kind of dog tug toy : )
First they measured my head with calipers. You can insert your chosen joke here about a large head equating to ego or to intelligence (as Richard claims, because like some in his family, he has a physically large head; I always lose when I argue with him, so what does that say?).

The techs took 2 x-rays from either side of my head - for positioning, not for tracking the disease. (Every week I'll meet with the radiation oncologist Dr. Mate to go over my progress. I can guess there'll be a CT or MRI scan at least halfway through, so we can have some pictures to look at.)
I still have my mask from the targeted radiation - which I may use again in 2 months - but for this procedure, they just use a bit of tape across your head to keep it stationary.

I had my eyes closed for the few minutes of actual treatments, but I saw blue lights! Blue lights! I know I can imagine lights and nectars, but I'm still pretty literal - the IV chemo tends to be medicine nectar, and radiation tends to be healing lights. Blue is of course a Medicine Buddha color. More healing coming into me.

Last they also took a regular old digital photo of my face. I've gotten so many other kinds of images of myself these last month. This one was the same kind you'd take of a friend. When we walked in today, the staff already knew Richard and me by name, but like more offices these days that are doing everything they can to make you feel welcome, so they put your picture on file so everyone can recognize and help you.

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