In Eight Steps to Happiness Geshe-la says "'Self' and 'other' are relative terms, rather like 'this mountain' and 'that mountain ... 'This' and 'that' therefore depend upon our point of reference. This is also true of self and other. By climbing down the mountain of self, it is possible to ascend the mountain of other, and thereby cherish others as much as we presently cherish ourself."

Friday, April 15, 2011

Happy Buddha's Enlightenment Day!

If you'd like to learn more, see

I prostrate to everyone who's doing the practice of Drop of Essential Nectar or Offering to the Spiritual Guide.

Planning My Comeback

Wed is my last chemo, and I am looking forward to having a bit more of a life soon. Even though I know, from experience, that it's going to be a year or so before I get most of my energy back, I'm already anticipating more of my normal activities in the coming months ...
At the very least, I plan to spend more time on my feet, outside, and less time on my back, on the couch.
I'm looking forward to puttering in the yard ... even doing a bit of weeding.
I love the idea of going for longer walks, maybe even a bit of jogging, and then of getting to the gym.
After that, I'm going to ...
run a marathon, then a triathlon, climb Everest, and win 5 Tours de France, sail around the world in a small rowboat ... 
Let's see, what else am I forgetting? ...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


More good news: Blood-tumor marker "CA-125" dropped again, from 18 to 15.2 - and that was before the double-whammy last week, and the Taxol this week and next.

Even better news: Today I had my penultimate Taxol chemo; next Wed is my last chemo ... hopefullly for a very long time, such as forever : )

On the other hand, I do have a bad ear infection that 3 docs are attributing to my month of radiation treatments. I did get the ear drained and am now taking antibiotic ear drops. Richard and I will see the "E,N&T" (Ear/Nose/Throat) doc again on Fri. He'll have the results of the ear culture then and will adjust the antibiotic if needed.
By the way, usually I pay $5 or $10 for drugs; the eardrops were $128!

Dex - just can't stay away!
The eardrops are called "CiproDex," which is ciprofloxacin and my old friend the steroid dexamesone, aka Dex. But I'm so fatigued, I can't say I notice the steoroid's effect yet.

The day after my last chemo (next week!), I'm very much looking to flying Newark with a friend, attending US Festival and getting Medcine Buddha teachings, then seeing Dad & Marilyn in Ramsy, and brother Andrew, sister-in-law Anne & the boys at the shore. Let's hope my ears are up for the trip!

What's new with you? I want to hear!
What are your Summer plans?


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Fatigue ...

it's literally a drag.
I've never been tired like this when I'm not on chemo.
To clarify: There are different ways to be tired. Usually we mean lack of sleep. But this fatigue kind of tired doesn't go away with shut-eye.
This fatigue gets worse the longer you're on chemo.
(The fatigue does feel familiar from other times I've had chemo, but it's a bit worse this time since they threw in the radiation, which is also fatiguing.)

For example, now I have to lie down after walking the dog around the block because I feel wiped out. Lately, I even feel exhausted from getting dressed, just putting my arms into the sleeves of my shirt.

Here's a more technical explanation:
It's a chemo day, and my oncologist's nurse calls my name in the waiting room.
As we're walking back to his office, she asks how I'm doing.
I say, "Pretty good, but fatigued."
She says, "Of course you're fatigued! We've been knocking the stuffing out of you! [with the chemo]"

Who knew we had "stuffing"! (I've never studied anatomy.) Apparently it's part of what helps give us energy! If anyone has extra stuffing, please send it my way. Ha ha. Dumb, I know. That's the way it goes these days.
Can I blame the chemo for my bad sense of humor??