Taking and Giving Blood

Thursday I am going to get a blood transfusion to help alleviate my fatigue, which contributed to putting me in bed rather than attending Offering to the Spiritual Guide at the Temple on Sunday.
Today I traded a small vial of my blood, to be "typed and crossed" for the 2  "units" of blood that some kind beings have donated (it's not a set quantity, my phlebotomist explained, because it depends on the concentration of red cells in that particular batch). I send my deep gratitude to all you Bodhisattvas who have given your body in this way.

I had a transfusion before from low hematocrit on chemo, and I felt so much more energy afterward. I am hopeful that this will allow me to enjoy more of US Festival and my family visits next month. My oncologist offered it as a choice, which I gladly accepted. From my experience, I expect I would have gotten more and more fatigued without it.
You may be thinking that what I need is iron supplements, but that is actually not recommended in my case: All of my doctors have told me it's OK to have iron in foods but that supplements would interfere with my treatment (they've also said that if I did take supplements, they wouldn't improve my levels fast enough).
The procedure is considered quite safe - I think it may strike some of you as being more serious than it is. Here's a bit of info to reassure you, from the blood bank associated with my cancer treatment:

The risk of exposure to HIV is estimated to be approximately 1 in 2.5 million or less per unit. Since 1985, no patient has been reported to have contracted HIV from a transfusion provided by Puget Sound Blood Center. The risk of hepatitis C infection is estimated to be approximately 1 in 1 million or less per unit, and the risk of hepatitis B, approximately 1 in 750,000 or less per unit. Bacterial infection and other types of infection from a transfusion are possible, although also unlikely.

Very fine print: Your karma may vary : ) I'll make some prayers that obstacles be removed.

If only I had a stronger mind, I wouldn't identify so closely with my body, but I am happy to say that I'm working on it. When I'm fatigued, my mind feels more vulnerable. This is overly dramatic, I realize, but occasionally it feels like being assailed by soul-sucking Dementors, for those of you familiar with the Harry Potter series, and having to do the Buddhist equivalent of the Patronus charm with all the faith I can muster. (I am actually more of a Lord of the Rings fan - the journey that Frodo makes resonates with me spiritually - but I deeply enjoyed having Richard read both the Potter and Rings books to me at bedtime; he is wonderful at giving voice to all the different characters.)

My faith is my most precious possession, and over the years I have learned the importance of actively protecting it. For example, when my faith is strong, I can listen to someone with doubts about  Buddhism or the New Kadampa Tradition; I have compassion for them. Depending on where they are and what they're wishing for, I can try to help them. I feel my own faith getting stronger, like a workout at the gym.
The Dorje Shugden controversy really deepened my faith. I was very fortunate to be able to attend many of the demonstrations and to meet Tibetan practitioners who had directly experienced persecution. I also researched the issue, reading different points of view, and came to a greater appreciation and understanding of this precious lineage.

However, when I read non-Buddhists make sweeping generalizations about life that contradict what I know and believe, I put up my armor: I protect my heart. Materialists (people who deny there's any spiritual or transcendent dimension to life) seem to pop up when I'm reading book reviews - there are some popular books by atheists and scientists getting a lot of attention in the press. Sometimes writers don't even try to make an argument - they just make a statement as though everyone believes what they do. Mostly I just think it's nonsense. (One of the reasons Americans need Sangha is that Buddhists are swimming upstream in what's mostly a Judeo-Christian culture - there are so many embedded assumptions. But I will save that for another day.)

When my faith is shakier, I will stop myself from reading. If I'm with someone who is denouncing my Spiritual Guide, I will try to excuse myself or at least stop listening to them and listen instead to an inner dialogue, at the very least a mantra. I will "conjure up" (to use the Patronus metaphor) a love for Buddha, Dharma and Sangha - it is refuge in my heart. I go inward, to my heart, with my Guru.