Hi all, it's another Mimi update from her Boswell. Some of you have been inquiring by email about Mimi's status - many apologies for the delay in responding and in updating this blog. It's been a busy week around here with family visiting from Florida and a friend visiting from New York. Next week will bring more family from New Jersey. How wonderful that loved ones are making the pilgrimage from near and far!
Many of our Seattle friends, along with thousands of Kadampas from around the world, are making another kind of pilgrimage: they're on a spiritual holiday at Manjushri Centre in England, attending the International Summer Festival that occurs every year at about this time. Local friends who aren't at Summer Festival this year are putting in extra hours to help out with cleaning and other chores, or just to be present while Mimi rests so that Richard can take a break. A friend who has experience with caring for a loved one on hospice calls these "respite visits." It's been so helpful for Richard to have this assistance - thank you, amazing friends! Your gift of cherishing is so precious.
As of the last report about ten days ago, Mimi's energy was good and she had been receiving up to five visitors a day. More recently, her energy levels have waned a bit and, outside of the respite visits, we've reduced her schedule to about two visitors per day. The remainder of the time she's been spending in bed to rest up and charge her batteries for the next visit. She's been spending more time sleeping and her appetite has decreased. Then Kadam Heather came up yesterday from Portland to spend the night here, and it was such an energizing visit for Mimi! Today Heather presided over Offering to Spiritual Guide right by Mimi's bedside so that Mimi could rest when she needed to during the two-hour puja. We coordinated with some friends at Manjushri Centre and timed the puja so that we were all making prayers at the same time. It was magical! Email me at rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail.com if you'd like to see pictures.
Mimi's physical state is going through ups and downs, but her mind, as usual, stays peaceful and positive. As you might remember from her previous blogs, Mimi considers her experience with cancer as an opportunity to receive daily teachings on samsara's true nature. She views suffering and difficulty as gifts that help us to become deeply familiar with our real situation. Mimi has written that her approach to adversity is "not just to welcome it, but to thank it for being there, showing honestly the face of samsara, rather than the mask, which fools me into thinking there's some real pleasure here. I don't want to hang out in this impure world. I don't want temporary pleasures to hook me into believing they're what's going to make my life happy." If you want to read more of her thoughts about how deceptive samsara can be, and about renunciation, samsara's antidote, see this blog post (especially the last paragraph). It will blow your mind.
Send emails, post comments - it's wonderful to hear from you!
In Eight Steps to Happiness Geshe-la says "'Self' and 'other' are relative terms, rather like 'this mountain' and 'that mountain ... 'This' and 'that' therefore depend upon our point of reference. This is also true of self and other. By climbing down the mountain of self, it is possible to ascend the mountain of other, and thereby cherish others as much as we presently cherish ourself."
Showing posts with label Cherishing Others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cherishing Others. Show all posts
Monday, July 25, 2016
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
In the Spirit of Family
Hi everyone,
Rebecca (aka Boswell) here. Thank you all so much for your emails and blog comments to Mimi. Some of you have received replies from her in the last couple of days. Sunday brought a harrowing trip to the emergency room to deal with unexpected and brutal head pain, combined with nausea and pretty much constant vomiting. In the face of that recent challenge, Mimi has kept a strong interest in maintaining connections with her Kadampa family and all her friends around the world. Please keep your messages coming - you can comment here, email Mimi directly or send messages to my email address rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail.com.
The excellent and expert care that Mimi received at the Swedish Ballard ER on Sunday contributed to a surprisingly pain-free, festive and fun Monday. It was a day full of love and life. Mimi's friend Kate is about halfway through her 10-day visit and has been providing invaluable support in the form of organizing, cleaning, shopping and attending to all kinds of tasks and decisions. Yesterday was also punctuated with early visits from friends Liz and Gayle, then fly-bys from Ellen and Katherine. Mimi has been having so much fun engaging her friends in conversation and jokes! (One of her medications has the bonus side effect of making her very talkative, giving us the opportunity to enjoy her quirky, one-of-a-kind humor.) One of Mimi's many passions is literature, and she has a wonderful collection of classic novels. She's hoping that all of her friends and family who visit have an opportunity to look over her "please take" books and choose one or more that appeal to them. (I heard that Katherine left with a few ;) The evening was a festival of pure delight with delicious homemade gnocchi from Marie, accompanied by lovely music from Mel. We were singing, reminiscing and enjoying the atmosphere of love and family, when Richard was inspired to play this song by Dar Williams. "Let your love cover me / Like a pair of angel wings / You are my family / You are my family." There were more than a few happy tears, please give the song a listen if you have a chance. You might not have been here in person, but because your love for Mimi is so strong and present, you were definitely here in spirit.
Today started with a visit from Marsha who chatted with Mimi for a while then went out to the backyard with Richard to pick the abundance of greens that are taking over the garden. Some of these fresh greens contributed to our lunch - yum! The afternoon took on a business-like atmosphere, although there were still plenty of jokes - we were visited by an intake nurse from Providence Hospice. Hospice is an amazing service and has many hidden good qualities. It's meant for people with "life-limiting illnesses who are no longer seeking curative treatment" (quoted, not quite exactly, from the FAQs at the link above). Many people think of hospice as applicable only during the final days of life, and only meant to keep the patient as comfortable as possible, but it's so much more than that. Hospice provides weeks and even months of nursing support, hospital equipment and supplies delivered to the home, medications, doctor liaison services, home health aides, social services including end-of-life decision assistance, volunteer house-cleaners and errand-runners, and chaplain visits should the patient choose to have them. It's a system of comprehensive support that allows the patient to direct, as much as possible, the circumstances surrounding their own death. Hospice care is designed to make the death process as peaceful as possible for the dying person, which according to Buddhist practice, is crucial for the process of transference of consciousness. Hospice also provides invaluable support and guidance to the friends and family of the patient - the compassion and love are shining right through the booklets and documents we received! And, get this, hospice services are covered 100% by Medicare and by most private health care plans. The support of hospice care is going to be such a blessing in the coming days and weeks. The first delivery of supplies has already arrived at the front door.
The next few days will bring more visits with Seattle friends, Mimi's sister flying in from Florida accompanied by Richard's brother and sister-in-law, and Kadam Heather visiting from Portland. What a loving extended family we have! Thank you for being part of it.
Rebecca (aka Boswell) here. Thank you all so much for your emails and blog comments to Mimi. Some of you have received replies from her in the last couple of days. Sunday brought a harrowing trip to the emergency room to deal with unexpected and brutal head pain, combined with nausea and pretty much constant vomiting. In the face of that recent challenge, Mimi has kept a strong interest in maintaining connections with her Kadampa family and all her friends around the world. Please keep your messages coming - you can comment here, email Mimi directly or send messages to my email address rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail.com.
The excellent and expert care that Mimi received at the Swedish Ballard ER on Sunday contributed to a surprisingly pain-free, festive and fun Monday. It was a day full of love and life. Mimi's friend Kate is about halfway through her 10-day visit and has been providing invaluable support in the form of organizing, cleaning, shopping and attending to all kinds of tasks and decisions. Yesterday was also punctuated with early visits from friends Liz and Gayle, then fly-bys from Ellen and Katherine. Mimi has been having so much fun engaging her friends in conversation and jokes! (One of her medications has the bonus side effect of making her very talkative, giving us the opportunity to enjoy her quirky, one-of-a-kind humor.) One of Mimi's many passions is literature, and she has a wonderful collection of classic novels. She's hoping that all of her friends and family who visit have an opportunity to look over her "please take" books and choose one or more that appeal to them. (I heard that Katherine left with a few ;) The evening was a festival of pure delight with delicious homemade gnocchi from Marie, accompanied by lovely music from Mel. We were singing, reminiscing and enjoying the atmosphere of love and family, when Richard was inspired to play this song by Dar Williams. "Let your love cover me / Like a pair of angel wings / You are my family / You are my family." There were more than a few happy tears, please give the song a listen if you have a chance. You might not have been here in person, but because your love for Mimi is so strong and present, you were definitely here in spirit.
Today started with a visit from Marsha who chatted with Mimi for a while then went out to the backyard with Richard to pick the abundance of greens that are taking over the garden. Some of these fresh greens contributed to our lunch - yum! The afternoon took on a business-like atmosphere, although there were still plenty of jokes - we were visited by an intake nurse from Providence Hospice. Hospice is an amazing service and has many hidden good qualities. It's meant for people with "life-limiting illnesses who are no longer seeking curative treatment" (quoted, not quite exactly, from the FAQs at the link above). Many people think of hospice as applicable only during the final days of life, and only meant to keep the patient as comfortable as possible, but it's so much more than that. Hospice provides weeks and even months of nursing support, hospital equipment and supplies delivered to the home, medications, doctor liaison services, home health aides, social services including end-of-life decision assistance, volunteer house-cleaners and errand-runners, and chaplain visits should the patient choose to have them. It's a system of comprehensive support that allows the patient to direct, as much as possible, the circumstances surrounding their own death. Hospice care is designed to make the death process as peaceful as possible for the dying person, which according to Buddhist practice, is crucial for the process of transference of consciousness. Hospice also provides invaluable support and guidance to the friends and family of the patient - the compassion and love are shining right through the booklets and documents we received! And, get this, hospice services are covered 100% by Medicare and by most private health care plans. The support of hospice care is going to be such a blessing in the coming days and weeks. The first delivery of supplies has already arrived at the front door.
The next few days will bring more visits with Seattle friends, Mimi's sister flying in from Florida accompanied by Richard's brother and sister-in-law, and Kadam Heather visiting from Portland. What a loving extended family we have! Thank you for being part of it.
Labels:
Cherishing Others,
My health update
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Cherishing Others -> Less Grasping
Hello. Yes, it has been a while - but except for a week in January when I was sick, not because of any health problems - just been busy with other projects. There's no shortage of material. So I will wade back in again, with a short post.
This is probably perfectly obvious to all of you, and I knew it to a small degree, but the connection between cherishing others and grasping less struck me strongly last night. I was reflecting on how I'd spent my day and trying to assess what was beneficial, what was less so. There was a situation where I'd talked to a friend to gain wisdom about an area I didn't know much about, so that I could pass it along to another friend (as she knew I was going to do). Had there been tension in my mind? Unhappiness? Frustration? etc. I couldn't detect very much, and it occurred to me that I was more relaxed about it than I might have been if the conversation had been about me. Of course, there's still grasping - at my friends, at the situation, and so so. But because I'd largely taken myself out of the picture, there was less grasping.
What a relief! I look forward to experiencing more and more of that in the future, until I am completely released and then can release others.
This is probably perfectly obvious to all of you, and I knew it to a small degree, but the connection between cherishing others and grasping less struck me strongly last night. I was reflecting on how I'd spent my day and trying to assess what was beneficial, what was less so. There was a situation where I'd talked to a friend to gain wisdom about an area I didn't know much about, so that I could pass it along to another friend (as she knew I was going to do). Had there been tension in my mind? Unhappiness? Frustration? etc. I couldn't detect very much, and it occurred to me that I was more relaxed about it than I might have been if the conversation had been about me. Of course, there's still grasping - at my friends, at the situation, and so so. But because I'd largely taken myself out of the picture, there was less grasping.
What a relief! I look forward to experiencing more and more of that in the future, until I am completely released and then can release others.
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