Dear friends,
There hasn't been much change since my last post, but I thought I'd offer this update nonetheless. Mimi's dad Bob and stepmom Marilyn are here visiting this week; sister-in-law Vicki and niece Lizzie arrive on Friday. Mimi's energy and appetite are still up and down, and she's requested us not to add any further visitors to her calendar for the time being. She spends a lot of time resting between visits - the amount of time seems to increase gradually each day. This, according to the information provided by hospice, is to be expected. In addition to the physical need for more rest, "the dying person begins to withdraw from the world and do the important work of processing one's life." (Paraphrased from the Barbara Karnes booklet I mentioned in the previous post.) So we don't expect Mimi to try harder to interact or push herself to have more energy. She doesn't expect this of herself either. I've been enjoying looking at Mimi's previous blog posts about her meditative experience, and here's something from 2012: "For ordinary activities we're usually told - and we tell ourselves - we need to try harder. But years ago I learned from a young woman who attended KMC NY to try softer. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but I find it beautiful and enjoy contemplating it." So imagine with me that Mimi is absorbed in trying softer, even in the midst of visits with family, friends and hospice personnel. (In a strange twist of Boswell-scheduling, we had eight people at once in Mimi and Richard's small house today. Even as I write this post, Mimi is resting on the sofa while Dad and Marilyn visit with Susan in the dining area and Liz chats with Richard in the kitchen. The hospice social worker just departed.) It's a pleasure and an honor to abide with Mimi at this time, and as she says in a reference to the quotable cult movie The Big Lebowski, "I tell myself the Dudette Abides...or tries to." I hope you all have a similarly fun and inspiring experience with abiding.
With love,
Boswell
(rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail.com)
In Eight Steps to Happiness Geshe-la says "'Self' and 'other' are relative terms, rather like 'this mountain' and 'that mountain ... 'This' and 'that' therefore depend upon our point of reference. This is also true of self and other. By climbing down the mountain of self, it is possible to ascend the mountain of other, and thereby cherish others as much as we presently cherish ourself."
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
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Thank you, Boswell! You are doing a terrific job. I am thinking of Mimi tonight since I am at Clayton's (formerly Bewley's) and fondly remembering when she was my roommate here. I am sure I speak for all of us Seattle Kadampas here when I say we wish she were here! Please give her our love.
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