Questions and Answers

Dear ones,

Many of you are asking wonderful, insightful questions by email and in person. Boswell has been answering your questions individually, and thought it would be helpful to everyone to post those answers here. Leave more questions in the comments or send them via Boswell-mail: rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail.com.

How is Mimi doing?
Mimi's health is pretty much the same since the last post three days ago. Her status probably won't change suddenly, it'll be more of a gradual decline - more on that below. If any sudden changes occur, they'll be posted asap here. This blog server seems to take several hours to send out updates by email, so you might want to check the blog link regularly. You will hopefully see at least a brief update every three or four days. Always, always feel free to email Boswell at any time. You may not receive a long reply, but the more detailed your question is, the more likely you'll get a detailed answer. If you don't hear back within a day, it's totally ok to send another message. Your caring and concern are appreciated!

What spiritual practice is Mimi relying on?
Right now Mimi is especially drawn to Avalokiteshvara and Vajrayogini. Tech-savvy friends have created recorded loops of mantra recitations (OM MANI PÄME HUM and the three-OM mantra) to be played when Mimi's physical and mental activity decline further. From Boswell's perspective, Mimi also seems to be relying on the minds of patient acceptance and cherishing others that she has developed over her years of Buddhist practice and her cancer journey. You can read all about her experience with this on other blog posts. As mentioned in the post prior to this one, Offering to the Spiritual Guide was a particularly energizing practice for Mimi at the beginning of this week. Perhaps another puja will happen here again on August 10th.

Can I come visit Mimi?
Of course! As reported in the last blog post, Mimi's energy is up and down. A few times over the last couple of weeks a visit has had to be rescheduled because she was too worn out to receive visitors. But even though they might not have a chance to see Mimi, visitors are nonetheless most welcome! (The best way to set that up is to send an email to rebecca.lafond@gmail.com.) Kind local friends have been stopping by to help with chores and provide respite care so that Richard can have breaks. Family members are here from out of town this weekend and next week to visit and help. Even if you're not able to be here in person, there is nonetheless a very important way for you to help! Here's what Mimi asked for in a group email she sent a few weeks ago after receiving her prognosis: "Please pray that I continue to have a peaceful mind throughout this dying process, deeply connected to Geshe-la at my heart."

What is Mimi's prognosis?
In the same email quoted above, Mimi says, "Apparently I've come to the last lap of this current 'race' (but not at all at a fast pace for me)." One could read that last part in parentheses in a couple of different ways. It's true that Mimi is spending quite a bit of time in physical inactivity as the cancer and side effects of medications drain her energy, and when she does get up she definitely doesn't move very fast. But she also doesn't seem to be heading very quickly toward the deadline (pardon the gallows humor) she received from her doctor. Five-and-a-half years ago, Mimi was first diagnosed with and treated for leptomeningeal disease, or cancer of the brain lining, which is commonly considered to be a marker of end stage cancer. Mimi's doctors have been astounded by the amazing good health she's experienced over the last 5+ years. (In fact, they call her a medical miracle, to which Mimi's response in a 2013 blog post is, "That probably isn't technically correct: I don't think I've ever heard any Buddhist use the word 'miracle,' but maybe I can get away with 'miraculous' as in extraordinary, as in emanated by the Buddhas.") It seems that her latest prognosis is not at all a departure from the miraculous story of Mimi's cancer adventure. Today is close to the approximate day Mimi was given for when she could expect her life to end, and she's still full of vitality and love! Ordinary prognoses don't appear to apply here - prayers and Mimi's mind of faith have truly worked to sustain her.

What happens next?
As mentioned above, Mimi's health will probably continue on the gradual (very gradual) decline it's been on over the last few weeks. Now that pain and other physical symptoms are under control, there probably won't be any further medical emergencies to contend with. If symptom control becomes an issue, there's a very responsive hospice team only a phone call away, and the hospice nurse provided an arsenal of medications to help with common end-of-life symptoms. The hospice social worker provided a booklet called Gone from My Sight: the Dying Experience, written by award-winning hospice nurse Barbara Karnes. The booklet describes the physical changes that can be expected during the dying process. If you're interested, the booklet can be downloaded in Kindle or purchased on Amazon, and you can also find helpful information at Barbara Karnes' website. Boswell has also been reading a book called Final Journeys by long-time hospice nurse Maggie Callanan, which uses real-life (real-death?) examples of hospice patients to highlight important end-of-life considerations and issues. This book is also available on Kindle/Amazon, or you can link to it here.


Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy this quote from a humorous post by Mimi from a few years ago: "It's kinda fun, and interesting, to write about yourself in the 3rd person. I've never thought of this before in terms of writing, but it seems useful as another way of looking at the emptiness of our self. We commonly, instinctively, think of ourself in the 1st person, as me or I. So what happens when we put ourself into a character of she or he? It's a bit like becoming That Mountain, looking back at This Mountain. You see yourself from the outside, as others might view you, but of course everyone's view is different."