In Eight Steps to Happiness Geshe-la says "'Self' and 'other' are relative terms, rather like 'this mountain' and 'that mountain ... 'This' and 'that' therefore depend upon our point of reference. This is also true of self and other. By climbing down the mountain of self, it is possible to ascend the mountain of other, and thereby cherish others as much as we presently cherish ourself."

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Longer-Term Patience

Slowly, slowly, slowly, I am coming to understand patience better.
Next thought: Umm ... you didn't expect to understand patience quickly, did you?

When I used to think of patience, it meant trying not to be annoyed while standing in a checkout line or waiting for a traffic light to change.

But now I'm aware of deeper kinds of patience - for one, during meditation.
My main distraction used to be wondering how much time was left for meditating.
It was like the kids in the back of the car on a road-trip, always asking, "Are we there yet?" Even when you've just pulled out of the driveway. Such an antsy mind.

Enjoy the ride; enjoy the scenery; enjoy your practice. We're taught it can be like going from joy to joy - there's a reason it's called the joyful path. Doing mandala offerings during retreat last week, it felt like a kid building sandcastles on the beach, and it was fun being as absorbed in them as a kid at play.

I'm also learning patience with my practice overall. At US Festival this year, Gen Samtem advised us that we should enjoy practicing where we are. In fact, he noted, it's the only place we can practice. Our problem is that we try to practice where we're not. We make ourselves unhappy by having unrealistic expectations, imagining that everyone else is a better meditator. After hearing this advice, it may seem like commonsense, but I found it such a valuable insight. So true. So helpful.
Gen-la Dekyong added that it's our self-cherishing setting us up for a fall: Our self-cherishing thinks we should only do things we can immediately be good at. It then berates us for our lack of instant success, discourages us from continuing, and tells us to quit.

What strikes me is that this patience has a quality of contentment.
Gen Khedrub is strong on this subject: He talks about simply spending time with your meditation object, letting the minutes go by, peacefully absorbed.

Ultimately I'd love a realization of patience as defined in How to Solve Our Human Problems:
"Patience is a mind, that is able to accept, fully and happily, whatever occurs. It is much  more than gritting our teeth and putting up with things. Being patient means welcoming wholeheartedly whatever arises, having given up the idea that things should be other than what they are."

1 comment:

  1. Great article, thank you. It's all good, and I love Khedrub's comment in particular, it's so true.

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