The silent Tranquil Abiding retreat in Petaluma was healthy and concentrated.
We were very well taken care of by the people at KMC San Francisco and the retreat venue, Walker Creek Ranch. (This was the first time they'd used this retreat venue, because they have to cook at their regular place and for a silent retreat they wanted a place that would do the food.)
Even though we'd never met, Sangha SusanT kindly picked us R and me up at the airport, drove us to the retreat, and when it was over, dropped us off at the Dharma house, where we'd arranged with Admin Cate to stay.
The food was delicious and nutritious, and in large quantities, which made a big difference for me because the corticosteriod Dex I'm taking makes me very hungry. They even made vegan and gluten-free dishes for us.
But when I said healthy, I wasn't just thinking primarily about the food. There was fresh air and a clean environment, and a sky full of stars at night - but there was also something that felt really healthy about the meditations, which I've never seen that way, and I wasn't focusing on a healing practice - in fact, I was trying to get rid of my body.
There were a lot of animals, from deer who were obviously used to visitors at Walker Creek and who you could also see on the hills surrounding the site (I even saw two young bucks butting heads), to lots of bird life, including many vultures to remind me of death and a hawk to remind me of trying to soar during meditation rather than constantly flapping my wings like many of the other birds around; I like to think of myself as a baby hawk. There were the raccoons we'd been warned about who did indeed try to use their little hands to open the doors to our cabins. They raise goats and chickens, next to their large vegetable garden that they harvested to feed us.
The animal that made the biggest impression on me, however, was this cattle, who helped me generate bodhichitta, because he was just down the road from the meditation hall but was incapable of spiritual practice:
I wish I'd gotten a photo of the empty pair of slippers that appeared one day outside one of the cabins. They were like a conceptual art piece, eerily conveying the emptiness of the body.
More importantly the feeling in the gompa was very concentrated. There were almost 60 people and almost no noise. (I find it funny that I had to put in my hearing aids for the silent retreat! Without them I couldn't hear the dings that signaled the approach of the end of each session and the end. They also mask my mild tinnitus.)
You know how when you're at a big Buddhist gathering like a Festival or a Celebration, and most everyone is happy, even when it's crowded and rainy, and you get a glimpse of how powerful these teachings are and get the sense that world peace is actually possible? I had a similar sense of the collective power of our minds meditating together at the retreat. I felt swept up by the meditative concentration in the room. I realized everyone wouldn't have to immediately adopt the teachings to be affected by them. It's similar to the way we feel anxious and hurried when we're in those kinds of environments ... but the exact opposite. It was so clear how we affect each other.
It was also concentrated in that so much seemed to happen over those four short days. We started Friday evening, after dinner, with a wonderful introduction to the retreat by Gen Choma, and an hour later we were in complete silence. The schedule had five 1-hour sessions Saturday and Sunday, and I was very happy to be able to do four of them each day. Monday we did one last silent session, following by Wishfulfilling Jewel puja with tsog offering as a transition out of silence.
At the preparatory teaching months ago, we had been advised not to meditate on our chosen object for more than 30 minutes, following teachings from Ven Tharchin, the longtime Retreat Master at Tharpaland Retreat Center. At the retreat the group would do Guru Founder and Liberating Prayer with audio at the beginning of each session, and then each retreater would do their chosen prayers before meditation. Because those prayers don't take 30 minutes, I'd had to think about how to fill the time. In addition to adding a preliminary meditation to generate bodhichitta and longer pauses to receive blessings, I took the prayers at a slower pace. That turned out to be one of the most enjoyable aspects of the retreat, like a scenic drive through familiar territory usually driven at a faster speed.
Some sessions were more concentrated than others, of course, especially on the Dex, but after every one I was eager to try again. It felt like playing a video game: When you lose a round, you immediately want to restart, and after much repeated effort, you occasionally advance to the next level.
Monday night we'd arranged to stay at the Dharma house, which is a short BART ride from their Center. As you may know, Saraha was the first NKT Center in the U.S., and the Dharma house was the original Center. It felt like a pilgrimage. I learned more about some of the history, including Teachers who'd served there such as Gen Losang and that Gen Choma had been their long-time Admin Director. I first knew her as a Teacher in New Bedford, MA, and had no idea she had that much karma with San Fran.
KMC SF is actively looking for a retreat place for our tradition on the West Coast, and I think Gen Choma even visited one on the way back from Walker Creek. As part of the dedication at the end of the retreat, we prayed that more retreat centers would appear all over the world. May everyone have the opportunity to enjoy this meditative experience.
There are more photos of the retreat, the Center and the Dharma house online if you're interested. Check out the old statues.
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