Dear friends of Mimi,
Greetings from Toronto! It's been wonderful seeing so many of you here at the New Kadampa Tradition fall festival, and receiving your loving concern, well wishes and prayers for Mimi in person. I'm concentrating strongly on visualizing both Mimi and Richard here with me during the festival empowerments and teachings, and I'm sure that many of you here are also doing the same. How wonderful and powerful that we can carry our friends and family into this remarkable mandala with us!
I had a long phone conversation with Richard this evening, and he updated me on a few developments with Mimi. As you know, the gross levels of Mimi's body and mind are greatly deteriorating. However, a few of the things that Mimi has said recently indicate that she's still using her subtle mind. For example, during a visit yesterday from a hospice massage therapist, Mimi said, "I've lost the path and I can't seem to find my way back." Given the experiences she's been having lately with her body and mind, this statement seems to suggest that Mimi is actually forgetting about how her gross aggregates function. In fact, at times she even seems to be unaware of their existence. Also, when the massage therapist had first arrived at the house, Mimi told Richard that she needed some time to get herself together. Richard took this to mean that she's dissociating her identity from her ordinary body and mind. She needed a few moments to remember how to attach her "I" to the collection of parts that everyone else agrees are Mimi. These are such good signs to have as death approaches: she'll be ready to let go when the time comes.
While a large number of Mimi's local friends are here at fall festival, many others are stepping up to support her and Richard. We are so grateful for their kindness! Wherever you are in the world, I hope you can feel the cherishing and blessings coming from Seattle and Toronto.
With love,
Boswell
In Eight Steps to Happiness Geshe-la says "'Self' and 'other' are relative terms, rather like 'this mountain' and 'that mountain ... 'This' and 'that' therefore depend upon our point of reference. This is also true of self and other. By climbing down the mountain of self, it is possible to ascend the mountain of other, and thereby cherish others as much as we presently cherish ourself."
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Tuesday, October 4, 2016
Birthday Wishes
Dear all,
Today is Mimi's 53rd birthday! Friends and family members are sending their wishes in the form of cards, treats (cookies, pastries and chocolates, oh my!) and their loving thoughts and prayers. However, as Richard says, it's probably not the best birthday Mimi has ever had. She's continuing on a decline of her physical functions, with quite a bit of pain and discomfort, which are being controlled somewhat well by the medications provided by hospice. Her cognitive functions are also in decline with less ability to speak, understand and use good judgement. So Mimi's body is deteriorating, and her gross mind is pretty useless, but Richard reports that she's showing signs of being able to use her more subtle levels of mind pretty well. In fact, just the other day she and Richard had a discussion about the central channel. And, true to Mimi's amazing nature, she very rarely complains about the suffering she's experiencing. Those of you who have been following this blog over the years will agree that she has a very stable realization of actions and their effects. She understands why she's experiencing suffering and actually seems to be pretty ok with it all.
Looking forward to seeing some of you at fall festival in Toronto in just a few days, where I'll be checking in regularly with Richard by phone and posting to the blog from afar.
With love,
Boswell
rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail-dot-com
Today is Mimi's 53rd birthday! Friends and family members are sending their wishes in the form of cards, treats (cookies, pastries and chocolates, oh my!) and their loving thoughts and prayers. However, as Richard says, it's probably not the best birthday Mimi has ever had. She's continuing on a decline of her physical functions, with quite a bit of pain and discomfort, which are being controlled somewhat well by the medications provided by hospice. Her cognitive functions are also in decline with less ability to speak, understand and use good judgement. So Mimi's body is deteriorating, and her gross mind is pretty useless, but Richard reports that she's showing signs of being able to use her more subtle levels of mind pretty well. In fact, just the other day she and Richard had a discussion about the central channel. And, true to Mimi's amazing nature, she very rarely complains about the suffering she's experiencing. Those of you who have been following this blog over the years will agree that she has a very stable realization of actions and their effects. She understands why she's experiencing suffering and actually seems to be pretty ok with it all.
Looking forward to seeing some of you at fall festival in Toronto in just a few days, where I'll be checking in regularly with Richard by phone and posting to the blog from afar.
With love,
Boswell
rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail-dot-com
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Better and Worse
Dear friends,
Just a brief update on Mimi today. Her leg is feeling better, the pain has decreased considerably. One person on Mimi's health care team speculated that she had an injury that led to blockage of lymph drainage. We're learning that functions of the body that we take for granted while we're healthy simply don't work properly when we're sick and dying. Perfect reason to develop renunciation and get the heck out of this contaminated existence. Mimi's energy is low and appetite is waning a bit. Her cognitive functioning is noticeably in decline. She has, however, gotten out of bed a couple of times (under Richard's supervision), which we weren't expecting. Another lesson learned: it's impossible to predict the course of these last stages of Mimi's illness. What a huge reminder that absolutely nothing that happens outwardly is within our sphere of control. One area where we have been able to make an impact is in hiring the home health care agency. Workers spend three nights a week here and Richard has been able to get some uninterrupted sleep. A care worker has just arrived for an afternoon shift while Richard attends his support group meeting. Providing support for Richard is almost as important as caring for Mimi, and we are so grateful for everyone who is helping to do so!
With love,
Boswell
Just a brief update on Mimi today. Her leg is feeling better, the pain has decreased considerably. One person on Mimi's health care team speculated that she had an injury that led to blockage of lymph drainage. We're learning that functions of the body that we take for granted while we're healthy simply don't work properly when we're sick and dying. Perfect reason to develop renunciation and get the heck out of this contaminated existence. Mimi's energy is low and appetite is waning a bit. Her cognitive functioning is noticeably in decline. She has, however, gotten out of bed a couple of times (under Richard's supervision), which we weren't expecting. Another lesson learned: it's impossible to predict the course of these last stages of Mimi's illness. What a huge reminder that absolutely nothing that happens outwardly is within our sphere of control. One area where we have been able to make an impact is in hiring the home health care agency. Workers spend three nights a week here and Richard has been able to get some uninterrupted sleep. A care worker has just arrived for an afternoon shift while Richard attends his support group meeting. Providing support for Richard is almost as important as caring for Mimi, and we are so grateful for everyone who is helping to do so!
With love,
Boswell
Saturday, September 24, 2016
Better, But Still Not Coasting
Dear friends,
Good news: after yesterday's crisis, Mimi is feeling a bit better today. Her leg is still hurting, but not as badly, and she hasn't had to use any supplemental pain meds today. However, it's looking like she won't be leaving the bed very much from now on. To prepare for this eventuality a hospice bath aide was here today, and she gave Richard a tutorial on how to effectively and safely move Mimi around in the bed. Also, the first visit from an employee of the home health care agency happened last night. The care worker stayed awake and alert so that Richard could get a full night's sleep. What a difference it made! Thanks again for your support and prayers, they're make a huge impact here.
With love,
Boswell
Good news: after yesterday's crisis, Mimi is feeling a bit better today. Her leg is still hurting, but not as badly, and she hasn't had to use any supplemental pain meds today. However, it's looking like she won't be leaving the bed very much from now on. To prepare for this eventuality a hospice bath aide was here today, and she gave Richard a tutorial on how to effectively and safely move Mimi around in the bed. Also, the first visit from an employee of the home health care agency happened last night. The care worker stayed awake and alert so that Richard could get a full night's sleep. What a difference it made! Thanks again for your support and prayers, they're make a huge impact here.
With love,
Boswell
Friday, September 23, 2016
No More Coasting
Along with summer in Seattle, our coasting phase seems to have vanished. Things are getting rough. Mimi is having a harder time with mobility because of some pretty severe leg pain. She's taking extra pain meds and is experiencing bouts of nausea and vomiting. Toileting is getting tricky. Today we had an intake visit from a home health care agency and will have the first overnight help starting tonight. The care agency workers are so friendly and supportive! And even with all of these health challenges, Mimi cracked a funny joke earlier that made me laugh. Richard and I also support each other with humor, even when the humor is dark. And of course we rely constantly on the dharma in our hearts, along with blessings and the support of our amazing sangha! For those of you in the area and who are interested, please keep the visits coming. Even when it seems like you're not really "doing" anything, having a friend or two around can be so supportive emotionally and spiritually. If you're not close by, feel free to continue with your prayers and messages!
(Just a note to those of you who have been responding directly to the blog update that arrives in your email inbox, I haven't been seeing those replies as they are directed to Mimi's email address. I saw quite a few of them today, so thanks for your ongoing support! My apologies for unintentionally neglecting to answer your questions, if you'd like to communicate with me and ask questions, please email rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail-dot-com.)
With love,
Boswell
(Just a note to those of you who have been responding directly to the blog update that arrives in your email inbox, I haven't been seeing those replies as they are directed to Mimi's email address. I saw quite a few of them today, so thanks for your ongoing support! My apologies for unintentionally neglecting to answer your questions, if you'd like to communicate with me and ask questions, please email rebecca-dot-lafond-at-gmail-dot-com.)
With love,
Boswell
Monday, September 19, 2016
Giving Thanks
Last week Richard prepared a Thanksgiving dinner for himself and Mimi. Turk'y Roast (made with Quorn), and mashed potatoes and gravy. A raspberry Linzer tart with homegrown raspberries for dessert. Thanksgiving has always been Mimi's favorite holiday, and since it's likely she won't still be here (or be eating much if she is here) at the end of November, Richard wanted to enjoy it with her now. It was a lovely and sentimental experience. And delicious! For those of you who don't know, Richard is a phenomenal cook. How wonderful that he has these opportunities to share his gifts with Mimi.
As far as health updates go, there's really no new news to report. Mimi continues to decline gradually. She's been having a bit more pain so has been taking a little extra pain medication, but not enough to justify an increase in her baseline pain meds. It seems that the pain she's experiencing hasn't been acute, just a general increase in discomfort. The hospice nurse was here today and he said that in brain cancer, with good baseline pain control, it's common for the patient to not have episodes of acute pain, even up to the end of life. Mimi is still eating heartily, but her energy is really low. She and Richard are feeling the effects of your strong prayers, so please keep them coming!
With love,
Boswell
P.S. Good news: she doesn't have a UTI.
Friday, September 9, 2016
Coasting
Dear friends of Mimi,
It's been a while since the last blog post, mostly because Mimi has been cruising along pretty much the same since she moved into the hospital bed. There have been a few instances of breakthrough pain and nausea (meaning the regular meds she's taking for those symptoms aren't enough to keep the symptoms at bay), but they've been pretty easily handled by small doses of supplemental meds. As of today, her head pain is quite a bit worse and she's taking more of the extra meds than she has before. She's also experiencing some new pains in her body, which may be due to a number of causes, including spread of the cancer. It's also possible that she has a UTI, and the hospice nurse is coming by this afternoon to check in. Please keep the prayers coming that she'll remain fairly comfortable and content, and look for another blog update soon.
With love,
Boswell
It's been a while since the last blog post, mostly because Mimi has been cruising along pretty much the same since she moved into the hospital bed. There have been a few instances of breakthrough pain and nausea (meaning the regular meds she's taking for those symptoms aren't enough to keep the symptoms at bay), but they've been pretty easily handled by small doses of supplemental meds. As of today, her head pain is quite a bit worse and she's taking more of the extra meds than she has before. She's also experiencing some new pains in her body, which may be due to a number of causes, including spread of the cancer. It's also possible that she has a UTI, and the hospice nurse is coming by this afternoon to check in. Please keep the prayers coming that she'll remain fairly comfortable and content, and look for another blog update soon.
With love,
Boswell
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